Every Second Counts
by PICTeamVamp
Summary: Every second counts when you don't know what is around the corner. Alternate Universe New Moon. BellaxEdward.
1. Chapter 1

**This is an Alternate Universe New Moon collaboration story by the partners in crime, Carla and Paula.**

**Disclaimer: We do not own Twilight, but we wished we owned Edward and Jasper… and the sexy beast that is Carlisle Cullen.**

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**Prologue**

Just one drop, that was all it took.

It had happened so quickly that I barely had time to understand what was going on, let alone react to it. One minute it was quiet, peaceful and serene, the next it was vicious, loud and angry. The vast change in atmosphere had disorientated me, it had made it hard for me to comprehend what had just happened.

All I saw was Jasper fighting against his brother's grip so that he could do the one thing he had been trying so hard not to. My blood was calling to him, like an urgent cry in an empty room. There was nothing there to distract him from my calling. To him, the room was empty. To him, I was all he could see, my _blood _was all he could see.

My blood was the problem. My blood was the cause. But it was me who had made the mistake.

And now, only one week later I found myself standing in a forest that held more life than the eyes of Edward, the man that held my heart. The man that was holding my heart in the palm of his hand right now. Torn between the decision of protecting it, or destroying it beyond repair.

And it was that decision that I was dreading. Because there was only one way out of the unending maze we had found ourselves in. And the way out was a route neither of us wanted to take.

"Bella, we have to leave." His voice was cold, devoid of emotions.

"What?" My voice was a hoarse whisper. I wanted more volume in my voice to show that I _wasn't _weak, that I _wasn't _fragile. Yet as I spoke, my voice sounded as if I were a child.

"We have to leave Forks," he replied. His voice sent a wave of nausea through me. "We have been here for too long, it is time to move on."

My brow creased as I looked at him. "Can't we at least wait till we've both finished school?"

"You will finish school here, Bella."

"I don't... understand. I thought you said we had to..." My voice trailed away from me as I realised what his words meant.

"You're not coming with us." Each word was punctuated with a short breath, making the pain more defined, more precise.

"But..." I could barely find my voice. "I belong with you."

He shook his head. It was one fast, jerky movement. "You belong here, with Charlie."

I was about to protest, but he held out his hand to silence me. "You don't belong in my world, Bella."

"You're wrong," I cried in defiance, finally finding my voice. I wasn't going to let him do this to me, not after everything we'd been through. It wasn't going to end this way.

"Look what I did to you," he replied. I watched his eyes flicker to my bandaged arm. I covered the arm with my hand instantly, making sure that he couldn't see the thing he was referring to.

"What happened with Jasper, that was nothing!"

"You're right, it was nothing more than I expected," he murmured. His dark eyes bored into my own, as if he was trying to convince me that there was no other way out of this. This was going to happen and there was nothing I could to prevent it.

He was leaving me, over nothing.

It was just one drop.

If only Edward saw it that way.

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**Please review! Reviews make me (Paula) finish off the last bit of chapter one.**


	2. Chapter 2

**We tried to buy the rights of Edward and Jasper. But they are not for sale, where are the good things when you want them?**

**So...everything is the same. Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight. And Edward. And Jasper. Damn.**

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Bella POV

This couldn't be happening. Why was this happening? I tried to find something on his face, something that told me this was a joke. There was a question present in my mind and it wouldn't go away. I knew I had to ask.

"You don't want me?" I was whispering, yet my voice still broke. He looked straight into my eyes. His own eyes were serious, but dead. Their sharp contrast to what they usually were made me shiver.

"No." There was no hesitation in his reply.

"If this is about my soul, take it, I don't want it without you!" I finally found the strength to scream. I wanted to. I needed to scream, to let it out.

"This is not about you. You are just not good for me." Now he looked like he was fighting. No! Edward was not normally like this. This was not real.

"Not good enough?" I had to challenge him. I wanted to hear him say it. Then that way, I would know if it was the truth or not.

"Goodbye, Bella." He kissed my forehead softly. I closed my eyes as his cool lips made contact on my skin. And then he was gone. Edward was gone.

"What are you doing here?"

Confused, I opened my eyes. He was still here, and we weren't alone anymore. Jasper and Emmett were in front of him, blocking his way. Carlisle was next to him, he looked _angry_. It was strange, I could see the compassion on his face, but his eyes showed emotions I thought Carlisle couldn't have.

Esme was by Edward's side too, touching his arm. I was suddenly aware of a tiny cold hand holding mine. I looked at Alice feeling relieved. I thought I would never see her again. I looked around, trying to find the missing member of the family. She was standing further away from us, leaning against a tree. She obviously didn't want to be here, Rosalie never liked me.

Edward's angry voice brought me back from my confused state. "You can't stop me! I'm doing this for her, this is for her safety!" He looked at Carlisle, desperately trying to find someone to agree with him.

"I won't let you destroy this family. We need you just as much you need Bella." His voice was strong, stern, like a father scolding his child.

I was suddenly aware of the fact that someone was staring at me. I dragged my gaze away from Edward and Carlisle until my eyes found Jasper's. It was completely silent as we stared at each other. His expression was cautious as if he was trying to gauge something. His expression changed, and he visibly grimaced as he turned to look at Edward.

"JASPER! STOP!" Edward's pain filled scream finally broke me. The tears I fought so hard to keep at bay were now flowing freely. Whatever Jasper was thinking or doing, it was torturing Edward.

"Don't do this. You just felt her pain, her sadness. It's equal to yours. This is not worth it. You are suffering over nothing."

"She loves you, Edward. I don't have to be an empath to know that my little sister loves you." Emmett never moved from his blocking position, instead he moved closer to Edward as if Emmett was anticipating him to make a run for it.

"She'll learn to hate me," he stated coldly.

"She's your happiness, Edward. Allow yourself to be happy after all these years. This is about Bella, too." Esme touched Edward's face as she spoke, so that he would look at her instead of looking away.

I still couldn't understand why this was happening. He had said so many times that he loved me. I was his life, his reason to be alive. _If that's what I am,_ he had said only a few days ago. And he had just denied every word he'd ever spoken _in minutes._ I couldn't believe him. I didn't believe him.

Alice held my hand tighter which made me concentrate on the scene before me once again. My eyes widened when I saw what was happening. Edward was now on his knees and was holding Este's hands and was begging her.

"Please, mom. Please, let me go, just this time. If she didn't hate me after what happened last march then she surely hates me now. I keep hurting her. I'm slowly destroying her. She deserves a man, not a monster. She deserves someone that gives her everything, not someone that takes it all away. Please! You have to understand. How can this be a good thing? How could _I_ be a good thing? I'm her damnation, not her happiness."

Esme looked at Carlisle in desperation, we were all frozen now.

I dropped Alice's hand and slowly made my way over to Edward. My movements were stiff, but I kept moving. Esme pulled away from Edward and smiled at me. Carlisle stepped back too. Edward's eyes widened when he looked up at me as I came to stand in front of him. I could only imagine that he had forgotten I was still here. I didn't like the difference in the way we were positioned now. We were equal, despite our difference in species.

I lowered to my knees so I was at the same level as him. He dropped his head so that I couldn't see his eyes. I reached for one of his hands and placed it on my heart, then held it there. With my other hand I touched his face so that he would look up at me. And slowly he looked up at me and raised his free hand to hold my hand against his face.

"You lied," I stated, trying to keep a hold of my rampant emotions.

He nodded in response.

"I almost believed you, _almost." _

"I had to," he whispered.

"Edward, after all those times you told me you loved me. What had you so convinced I would believe you? I know you, Edward. I know are not like that, I know you wouldn't do that. And I refuse to believe I was a distraction."

"You are not, I promise. But please, _please_ understand that you are better off without me. You deserve better. You deserve a real man, not this creature," he said as he signalled to himself. I could hear the self loathing in his words.

"You deserve a man who won't make it hard for you to get a job and have a career. The man you deserve should be able to give you children, _a life_. And those, Bella, are things I could never give you. Being with me stops them from ever happening. I take away any possibility!" He yelled the last part.

"You are my life." I said simply. It was the same thing he said the morning after our first day in our meadow.

"You say that now. But you won't say it if I slip up and bite you. You'll be lucky if you don't end up dying by my own hands. How amazing, your boyfriend is a constant death threat." His voice filled with disgust as he finished.

"That in itself is an excuse to hate me and I wouldn't blame you for it either. With me, you only have two destinies, either be murdered or be damned for eternity."

"No, please, Edward. I'll die without you, I know that now, I'll make sure of it. You want me to be human? Fine, I'll die! I would rather die than stay away from you. You love me, I love you. There is no logical reason why you're doing this. So _don't_ do this. I beg you, Edward."

"You would die for a monster?" he asked, his tone was disbelieving. How could he not know the answer?

"Not a monster, Edward. I'd die for you! You are perfect in every aspect. I'm the one that doesn't deserve you. But I don't care, Edward, I don't! I might be a pathetic little human, but I truly do love you. We can't be apart. It will destroy us if we are. Do you really want to destroy us, Edward?"

It was silent as I finished, I didn't even make a noise as I waited for him to reply. I knew that if he said yes and insisted that he had to leave, then I wouldn't be able to stop him from leaving. I had poured my heart into my words. I had opened it for him, effectively giving him the access to destroy it completely. It was his decision. And he was once again holding my heart in the palm of his hand.

He looked around each of the faces of his family. I didn't dare look away from his face. It was as if I was scared that if I let him out of my sight, then he would disappear.

I didn't see her move. It was too quick for my eyes to follow. But I still heard her words as she spoke to him.

"Edward, I've seen what your absence will do to her," she told him in a solemn voice. And then, for the second time today, Edward cried out in agony. But this time, I assumed, it was because he was seeing something in Alice's thoughts.

Alice's eyes flickered to me and for the first time today, I saw a glimmer of hope within them. I tried not to let this hope take over my body, but it was a futile attempt. The hope travelled through my body quicker than the click of my fingers. Although I was still tense as Edward turned to look at me. I held my breath as he began to speak.

"I will not be the cause of your pain, Bella. I won't do that to you," he murmured as he took a step towards me, abridging the gap that had formed between us.

"You're staying," I sighed as a content smile formed on my face. "You're really staying with me."

The corners of his mouth turned upwards at my words. "I saw what it would do to you if I left," he stated simply.

I was about to say something more when Alice came to stand next to me as if to get my attention.

"Bella, you have to go back to Charlie soon. He will be wondering where you are," she informed me.

I nodded at her then turned back to Edward. "Will you come home with me?" I asked, not wanting to let him out of my sight. Even though he'd said he wouldn't leave, I still wasn't comfortable with us separating for the night.

Yet he still shook his head. "I can't. Me and my family need to talk," he replied as he turned to look pointedly at Carlisle.

I nodded stiffly. "Okay."

"I won't let him leave, Bella," Jasper exclaimed, obviously sensing my inner distress. I met his eye for a short moment and saw the sincerity shining in them. But I couldn't hold his gaze for much longer. I had to look away again.

Esme and Carlisle disappeared first. I could only assume that Rosalie left with them as I couldn't see her anywhere. I was expecting Emmett and Jasper to leave too, but it didn't take long for me to realise they were waiting for Edward. I doubted they would let him out of their sight.

"I will see you tomorrow," Edward told me as he leant forward and kissed me on the forehead, just like earlier. But this time, I was able to watch him disappear into the trees with Jasper and Emmett right beside him.

"Come on, Bella. Let's get you back to Charlie before he sends out a search party," Alice said with an amused lilt in her tone.

It didn't take very long to get back home. We really hadn't gone very far into the forest for our… chat. I shuddered as I thought about what it would have been like if the rest of the Cullen's hadn't of turned up.

Alice didn't stay long. She obviously wanted to go back to the house so that she could participate in the family chat.

"Is he going to stay?" I asked cautiously as I said goodbye to her at the door. I had wanted to ask her that for the last ten minutes. Only now did I build up enough courage to do so.

A grim smile formed on Alice's face as I finished. She had obviously seen me asking this question in one of her visions. When she didn't answer me I knew that she didn't know the answer to my question. Edward's future was _still_ undecided.

"Get some sleep, Bella," she instructed, evading my question altogether. "Tomorrow will be a big day."

I wanted to ask her what was going to make tomorrow a big day, but she was gone before I could get another word out. I stared off into the darkness as I thought about what had just happened. It was one of those moments that I would have preferred it if she had just lied.

She told me to get some sleep. How the hell was I going to manage that now?

"You okay, Bells?" Charlie asked as I served him his dinner. "You look a little pale tonight. Are you coming down with something?"

"I'm just tired, that's all," I lied. I wasn't tired, far from it in fact. I was worried. Every fibre in my body was tainted by the feeling of dread I was experiencing. I needed to be with Edward, I didn't like the distance that was between us right now.

I even contemplated driving to the Cullen's house. But I knew that I had to wait till he came to me. I couldn't go walking in there whilst they were having their family discussion… about our relationship.

I sighed and made my way upstairs. I may as well keep up the pretence of going to sleep for Charlie's sake even though I knew I wasn't going to sleep a wink. I tried to read, but the books only seemed to remind me of my own situation and I quickly gave up.

I decided to turn out the lights when I heard Charlie making his way upstairs. He would be wondering why I hadn't gone to sleep when I'd told him earlier that I was tired. He would know I was lying straight away.

And so, as Charlie's snores echoed softly through the house, I continued to toss and turn in bed, getting more agitated as the minutes passed. I was about two minutes away from getting out of bed and calling the Cullen's house when I was overcome by a wave of calm. I sat up slowly as another stronger wave of calmness hit me.

I looked over at the window just in time to see it slide open slowly. I could only just make out the shape of his body as he climbed in through the window. "Bella," Jasper whispered as he took a step towards me.

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**Review if you want to find out what is Jasper doing in Bella's room.**

**That...didn't come out as expected. **

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	3. Chapter 3

**We don't own Twilight, or Tanya's whorish ways of seduction, for the lack of a better word.**

**Enjoy the chapter!**

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**Chapter Two**

**Bella POV**

"Jasper," I whispered back to him, in complete shock. He was the last person I expected to climb in through my bedroom window in the middle of the night.

"Bella," he repeated. I couldn't help but feel slightly better when I noticed that he was as nervous about this as I was.

But above the nervousness, I was also disappointed. I was hoping that Edward would be the one to come to my window. I was not expecting Jasper. My mind was full of questions, "Jasper? What are you doing here? What happened to the family talk?" _Did Edward leave?_ But I couldn't ask that. I was too afraid of the answer.

"I came to apologise, I feel guilty for what happened." He paused, and glanced at me. He looked unsure. I waited, if he wanted to talk to me, then he should do it the way he planned to. "I am sorry. I'm not going to say I wasn't thinking, because I was. But my thoughts made me feel disgusted. All I could think about was your blood. I lost control, and we all know the consequences of my actions."

"I won't accept the apology." He kept his head low at my response, and I could see the shame in his face. And then, as he started to turn around, I continued, "Let me finish! I won't accept the apology, because you have nothing to be sorry about. It wasn't your fault, Jasper. I don't blame you for what happened."

He raised his head and looked at me with wide eyes. He was completely silent, and I knew he was testing my emotions, my honesty. The look he was giving me told me that he couldn't believe me or his power.

"Jasper, sit down? It's awkward with you standing by the window. If you don't want to be close to me, you could sit on the chair. I know it will be the same, but… it could be better?" He laughed at my rambling, and instead of sitting on the chair, he sat next to me on the bed. That surprised me, and I didn't try to hide my emotions. He never came this close to me, only when we were hiding in that hotel in Phoenix, but after that, never.

"Do you want to talk about it?" His voice was serious again. Would it make it better? Would it help to talk about it? I tried to talk about it earlier with Alice, but she left so quickly, as if she was avoiding the subject.

I nodded, I needed a friend to talk to, and I wanted Jasper as my friend.

"You are afraid." I nodded again. It was easy to admit because he already knew. Then the calm I felt, the forced calm, it disappeared. And the fear, the sadness, the despair were all back.

"I need the calm, please give it back," I almost begged. "Please, take these feelings away." I was crying now, a reaction that came so easy to me. How many times had I cried today? How many more times was I going to cry before this was all sorted out?

"There's nothing wrong with crying." Wrong, he was wrong. I was weak, and that was why Edward was leaving me. I was the little human, the little, weak, fragile human, in a fantastic world with wonderful creatures where I didn't belong. It was so easy for Jasper to say those things, he had Alice. I felt a sudden rush of jealousy and anger. And I wondered if it was possible to break away from all the things I was currently feeling.

"Why are you jealous and angry?" he asked, confusion lacing his tone.

"Because you have Alice," I stated simply, staring deep into his eyes. "It's so easy for you to say that to me. You can keep Alice, whereas I am about to lose Edward."

He laughed. _Laughed._

"And you think it was always easy for Alice and me? You are wrong. It was difficult. I loved Alice the first time I saw her. But loving someone is complicated, and it takes a lot of work. Falling in love is effortless, but receiving that love from someone, and _keeping _that love, is a constant fight. It's easy to declare war, but not so easy to win it, is it?"

I was confused, from what Edward had told me, I was convinced that Alice and Jasper were always together. I had thought there were no hesitations in their relationship. I had thought that they were together from the start. But now, I wasn't so sure.

"Do you know our story?" he asked, with a soft smile on his face. I could tell it was a story he liked to tell. Or at least, his story with Alice was something he liked to talk about.

I shook my head. Every time I asked Alice about her life before the Cullen's, she would say, "We were meant to be together." But she would never elaborate any further.

"As you know, I had a very traditional vampire life before I met Alice. But that part of my story is not important, not now, at least. After I left the darkest part of my life, I became a lonely nomad. I was always sad and guilty after I hunted. I'm sure you can imagine what its like to feel the emotions of the people around you, Bella. But think of it in the perspective of the predator going after his prey. I absorbed every emotion that my prey felt, there was no escaping it."

I shuddered as he finished. Even I couldn't miss the edge of pain in his voice as he spoke about his dark past. I couldn't help but notice how this was the most he'd ever said to me. And even though his current topic was dark, I wanted to know more.

"I was in Philadelphia," he continued in a much lighter, pain free voice than before. "It had been raining, and so I went into a small diner to get out of the rain. That was where I found Alice."

Until now, I didn't hear the way he said her name. It was like a prayer from his lips. It reminded me of the way Edward said my name. Jasper talked about Alice as if she was an angel, his angel.

"She had been waiting for me. And as soon as I walked in, she turned around and smiled at me. She then got up from her stool and walked straight towards me. The smile on her face sang with hope. I find it funny sometimes when I think back to that time. I had been so confused, how could someone so little give me so much happiness? I had been thinking. Every emotion in her body buzzed with happiness, an emotion that I wasn't all too familiar with."

He stopped then, and smiled. It was the first time, I realised, that I had ever seen Jasper smile that way. "When she offered me her hand, I didn't know what I was doing. And seconds later my hand was wrapped around hers. Our eyes were black; I was so thirsty, as was she. But I refused to hunt and kill someone. What would she think of me? That was question that kept revolving around in my mind. Even though she was a vampire, I couldn't help but wonder if she would be disgusted with my past? But that wasn't the case; it was as if she didn't care what happened. _Your past brought us together_, that's what she would say to me. I didn't question her about it again.

"She gave me hope, offering me a better way of life. I hunted animals with her, and she told me about the coven that practiced the same diet."

His posture was more relaxed now, and the peaceful expression remained on his face as he continued.

"But it was extremely hard to stick to my new diet. She was so pure, and perfect, whereas I was not. It was difficult to look her in the eyes, or to do something more than just hold her hand. I considered it another selfish act. But her touch was like a new life to me, and I it was exactly the life that I needed. When we finally found the Cullen's, we already saw each other as mates. We already knew we were each others future. But we hadn't…" His voice trailed away from him as he looked away. And if he could, I was certain that he would be blushing. "I think you know."

It made me smile as I nodded in response. I was sure he didn't enjoy sharing such personal information as that.

"But we did, eventually. And I had thought that after I found Alice, I was complete. But it was after being with Alice, that I was truly complete. I had done it before, and I was not proud of that. That had been part of the reason that it didn't happen immediately. I always believed that my Alice deserved so much better. But she would never listen to me when I tried to convince her. I gave up, conceding that I wasn't going to change her opinion of me. She is such a stubborn thing my Alice is. Shortly after that, I asked her to marry me. My decision had been so fast, that even _she _hadn't seen it coming."

"That is a beautiful story." It was all I could say. I was amazed at how he talked about Alice. All you had to do was listen to him for a minute, and you would know that he loved Alice more than existence itself.

"Alice makes things beautiful," he replied with a smile. It was silent for a moment. His expression was hesitant, but he continued, "It's not going to be easy for you and Edward. It's going to be hard, and maybe more than necessary. But Edward loves you. You should never doubt his love, and if you think he was leaving because he didn't love you, then you are wrong again. He was leaving because he loves you. And in Edward's mind, that made sense."

"I know he loves me, how could I not? But I'm just a human. I'm plain, ordinary and boring. He'll see that soon, and then he would leave." My voice was low and full of anguish. But I knew Jasper would hear me.

"You're wrong, again," he said without any hesitation. "Edward isn't shallow like that." As he spoke, he took his phone out. What was he going to do now? "Bella, what do you know about Tanya?"

I was shocked at his sudden change of subject, but I tried to hide it in my expression. I nearly laughed at my stupidity. What was the point of hiding it on my face? He was an empath; he didn't need to look at my face to know what I was feeling.

"Not much," I said, shrugging. "I know she's a vampire, and that she is beautiful, like you all of you are. Oh, and that she's a succubus." _And that she wants Edward_, I added to myself.

"Yes, a succubus. This is Tanya," he said as he handed me the phone. I gasped quietly at what I saw on the screen. She was a beautiful, blonde haired woman. Her beauty even rivalled that of Rosalie's, who was standing next to her. I was nothing compared to that woman. I was a simple, tarnished rock, whereas she was a perfect diamond.

"Did you know that she tried to win over Edward? Different attempts, all the time. And she always received the same answer. Do you want to know what the answer was?"

I nodded through the jealously I was currently feeling. "_You are not her. _He always said the same thing. But you, you appeared in front of him, and you had him since the first time he laid eyes on you."

"It was my blood," I stated, not wanting to believe what he was saying. It wasn't me he wanted, it had been my blood. Maybe later he saw something in me, but I did not captivate him with my look, that was for sure. It was my blood that sang to him.

"Yes, he thought so at first. But he admitted to me that you captivated him with the first look, it was your silent mind, too. But he didn't know that at first."

I found myself look at the picture of Tanya as he spoke. What I wouldn't give to be as beautiful as her. Maybe then I would look like I deserved to stand next to Edward.

Apparently, I said that out loud, because Jasper spoke again. "I thought I made that clear, Bella? You _are_ beautiful."

_No, I'm not._

"You know that Edward would agree with me. He says that he can't find the perfect word to describe your beauty. And you are, Bella, where is your self-esteem? The whole family think you are beautiful, too."

I raised my eyebrow at him. I felt like laughing, but I held it back. I knew there was one person in the family that would love to differ.

"Fine," he said, with a slightly chuckle escaping his lips. "Maybe not Rosalie. But what do you expect? She is Rosalie, the queen of beauty. She believes that she is the only beautiful one."

"Well, thank you, Jasper, for everything that you have said to me. I wish I could agree with you, but I think we will have to meet halfway with this one. You say that I am beautiful, I say that I am a rock in the middle pretty jewels."

He opened his mouth to say something, but I stopped him. "You will not convince me, Jasper. So don't even try."

He grinned at me. I'd never seen him this happy. "You are just like Alice, both of you are stubborn. I can see why you are best friends. No wonder you get along so well."

I smiled softly and looked down at my bed cover. "And you are my best friend's husband, and yet this is the first time we've ever really talked, just you and me."

"I'm sorry about that, Bella. That had been one of my many mistakes I've made with you. I was scared that if I got too close, then I would end up doing the one thing I shouldn't have. But it seems I did that anyway. I wasn't strong enough."

A harsh chuckle escaped his lips and he looked away from me.

"Hey, I don't blame you," I repeated in my most sincere voice. "And I know that you are stronger than you think."

"I attacked you, and you think I'm _stronger_?" he asked incredulously. "How hard did you hit your head? I heard that it is bad for humans to hit their heads, but now I know for certain that they are bad."

His voice sounded amused, but I could still see the confusion and disbelief in his eyes. _Great_, I thought to myself. There was yet another family member that enjoyed my accidents, falls and general clumsiness.

"I didn't hit my head, I mean it! And you _are_ stronger, Jasper. You deal with everyone's thirst every day, and you have to be strong to do that. And what about when you are at school? How many years have you been attending Forks High? And how many times have you attacked someone whilst sitting in class?"

His silence answered my question. I already knew the answer, but I still wanted to see his reaction.

"I cut myself. It was my stupidity that made you do what you did. I should have been more careful. I should have been watching what I was doing. And so I repeat, I do not blame you for what happened, regardless of what you might say."

It was silent after I finished. I opened myself to him, letting him feel every emotion in my body. He would feel my sincerity. He would know that I wasn't lying to him. Because I didn't blame him, how could I?

"You're very accepting to my kind, Bella. Even after everything that has happened, you still believe that you were the one to blame, and that it wasn't my fault your birthday ended the way it did. If only you saw my issues with control, Bella. Maybe then you could understand better."

I sighed and shook my head at him. He thought Alice and I were stubborn? Then what was he if he wasn't stubborn, too?

"Jasper, I don't think you have control issues. In fact, I think you are good at controlling yourself in the situations you are presented with every day at school."

He smiled at the finality in my voice. "I think we will have to meet halfway with this too, Bella."

I grinned. "It's a deal."

It looked as if he was about to say something more when his phone started vibrating. It was still in my hand, which meant I was able to see who it was calling. I froze when I saw Alice's name flashing up on the screen.

I quickly passed it to him and held my breath as he answered the phone. I couldn't hear her speaking, my hearing wasn't good enough. I wasn't a vampire. I was a human. I felt like crying again. Must everything remind me of my situation?

Another wave of calm washed over me and I flashed Jasper a gratified look. But he wasn't looking at me. He was staring out of the window, as if he was looking in Alice's direction as she spoke. I didn't see his lips move, but I knew that he was speaking.

"Okay, yes. I know, I'll tell her. Yes, see you in a minute." He spoke the last part loud enough for me to hear. He placed the phone back in his pocket and turned to look at me.

"A decision has been made. Alice told me to go back to the house as Carlisle would like to talk to me."

My heart started beating a little faster in my chest as he said that a decision had been made. Why was he not telling me? Was Edward leaving? Had he already left? I could feel the panic rising up my throat, it nearly choked me.

"Bella, relax. Alice told me to tell you not to worry about anything. And you should know by now that you never bet against Alice. If she says not to worry, then you know that everything will be okay."

I shuffled closer to him on my knees. I still wasn't convinced. "Please, Jasper, take me with you back to the house," I begged. "Charlie won't be awake for hours. I just want to see him. I just want to make sure that he is still there. I can be back before Charlie notices."

Jasper pursed his lips as if in thought. But finally, he shook his head, and my heart plummeted. I really thought he would agree and allow me to come back to the house with him.

"No, Bella, I think its best if you stayed here. Someone will be over in the morning to see you. Trust me, its better if you stay here and get some sleep."

"I do trust you, but-"

He raised his eyebrow at him, effectively stopping me mid sentence. "Everything will be okay, I promise."

I tried again. "But what if-"

"Bella, stop it," he said sternly, as he sent another wave of calm at me. "You're going to drive yourself mad with all this worrying."

I didn't try to say anything more after hearing the sternness in his voice. The last thing I wanted was to get on his nerves. It seemed as if we'd only just formed a friendship. I didn't want to ruin that now.

"Okay," I mumbled, nodding. "Thank you."

He ducked his head as a lopsided smile formed on his face. It was similar to Edward's. "It was my pleasure, darlin'."

He got up from the bed then and made his way towards the window. I didn't want him to leave me alone here. But I was too chicken to ask him to stay until morning. He sent me yet another wave of calm as he opened the window.

"Someone will be here to see you tomorrow," he murmured as he leant out of the window. "Now try to get some sleep."

I nodded, even though I knew it was going to be nearly impossible for me to do that. I got up out of bed, just as he jumped from the window. I made it to the window just in time to see him running into the trees at the end of the yard.

Only seconds after he disappeared from my view, the panic started.

* * *

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